We can define ‘stuck in a rut’ as any area of life we want to change but can’t seem to bring about that change. We want to lose weight but can’t seem to change our lifestyle habits. We want to progress in work but are afraid to speak up or put ourselves out there. We want to meet someone but feel too bad about ourselves and can’t handle another rejection.
If we lack motivation, courage, information as to how; if we are scared or embarrassed or frustrated going round in circles then what can be done about that?
First thing is to get clear on the ‘why’ we want this change – and make it as emotionally compelling as possible.
Two ways to look at this:
1) what will happen to me / my relationships / my health / my finances if I don’t make the change in 6 months time, 1 years time, 5 years time – THIS IS THE PAIN/COST of not changing and
2) what will it be like making progress towards changing and making the change for real in 6 months time, 1 years time, 5 years time – THIS IS THE BENEFIT/RESULT.
When we find a compelling and moving ‘why’ – we often find all the motivation necessary to change. It has to become a ‘must’ rather than a ‘nice to have’.
Then – get support. Change means rewiring the brain so that we can be consistent and follow through on making our goal happen. We will be met with challenges and set backs. We will have to face fears and limitations head on and we will need to go beyond them. This is difficult, so respect the challenge for what it is and get support.
There are many means of support:
1) Write out the goal – in clear language as if it’s already achieved. Use emotional compelling language and images. Put the goal somewhere you see it often (e.g fridge, car visor) and pay attention to it, focus on it, tend to it….and take ACTION.
2) Make yourself publically accountable. Record a video of yourself declaring your intention (e.g target weight, target for business and so on) and post it on social media. This has been proven to help people stay focused and incentivised to follow through on the goal.
3) Ask for higher help and surrender to a higher power i.e pray: AA calls this the God of your understanding or we can think of it as our higher self, our transcendent self, angels etc. The act of faith in something greater than the problem being able to assist us to go beyond where we are stuck brings hope and belief when we lack it.
4) Get coached or therapy – a coach helps keep us on track, supports us through the tougher moments and works through the negative limitations holding us back. Change is usually quicker and easier with someone who can guide us through it.
5) Ask for help from friends and family.
6) Stack the odds in our favour by getting the environment (house, car, workplace) set up to succeed. Environment trumps will. Not having the option of icecream in the house is easier than trying to resist it. Keeping a gratitude journal of listed positive things helps when we are beset with self-doubt.
7) Read and study those who have done what you want to do – and then act, think, feel like they do. Mirror, mimic and follow them. If there is someone who will let you shadow them then do that.
8) Watch, read and listen to inspirational and motivational documentaries, books, stories and so on. And then take ACTION!
9) Join a meet up or facebook group or other appropriate group that will support.
So to get out of the rut:
1) find out why you MUST change
2) respect the challenge for what it is and
3) get support.
It’s my pleasure to facilitate change work, so if you feel stuck in a rut please feel free to contact me and we can see about getting you un-suck.
Change is easier that you may think.
Wishing you a lovely week.
087 2201 453