That was the advice a friend told me when I was expressing my fear about not having a pension set up by my 40’s. It stopped me in my tracks and after a little bit of feeling confronted and called out on the obvious – all I could say is ‘you’re right’. It was so simple and direct and ultimately easy to put into place – and yet I missed the obvious.
Why? – because my story about ‘me’ and pensions went something like this: It’s boring, I don’t want to have to think about it, I’m no good at accounting stuff. My inner image and beliefs about handling finances were limited and therefore my actions (or more accurately lack of actions) followed my story about money.
This is true for all of us on every subject; as the saying goes “if you believe you can, or you believe you can’t – you’re right”.
Where ever we are stuck, worried or doing foolish things it’s because we’ve got some ideas that tell us: I’m to old, I’m too uneducated, I’m too nervous, They will laugh at me, I can’t, I’m not good enough to ___ (fill in the blank), I’ll fail, I’ll look stupid. And because we feel in accordance to the way we think those ideas feel true. It takes someone else to point out what’s actually possible or it takes us becoming aware of our story – and then to see it as a story, not a fact, before we will question it and do something about ….our finances, our mood, our anger, our anxiety, our fear, our guilt, our relationships, our weight. Until that point we feel and believe ‘that’s just the way I am, or that’s just the way it is’.
Ask “What do I worry about”; and then stop worrying and DO something about it. The relief of putting a plan in action and making progress on the goal is great. When it came to pensions I didn’t know how to go about it – so I asked those that did and hired someone who could explain it to me.
Here some practical tips to stopping worry and doing something about the problem:
1) Clarify and write out the overall goal. In 5 years time when it’s achieved what is it like?
2) Depending on the goal – write out 3 milestone goals that, once achieved, indicate progress towards the overall goal.
3) Write out 5-7 actions for each of the milestone goals that will step you towards the milestone goal.
4) Work the plan – it stops the worry
5) Celebrate the steps along the way.
If the worry is a limiting personal belief or the achievement of the goal requires support then that’s something I can help with.
It’s wonderful being part of liberating a person from their worries.
Feel free to drop me a line or call for a consultation.
087 2201 453
info@DublinMindTraining.com