A month has passed since the beginning of the year, and if statistics are to be trusted most who resolved to change in 2018 – those who whole heartedly, defiantly, committed to change – have already broken their resolutions. This is not an indication that people are weak willed, lacking some moral fibre or don’t really want to change, as is often assumed. No, it simply indicates that we are emotionally invested in keeping things the way they are (so as to avoid some greater pain associated with the change). This is an unconscious emotional dynamic and we are often left scratching our heads not having any idea about what the reason might be or we deny that there could even be a reason that makes sense emotionally and try once more to force our will on ourselves and make another resolution.
The problem is we are up against aspects of ourselves, and when will power is pitched against our unconscious emotional need to stay as we are – it’s only a matter of time before the unconscious need has its way.
Inner conflict is nothing new. We’ve know it all our lives. A part thinks we should study; a part wants to watch TV. A part desires the cake; another part wants to reduce our weight. A part wants to be reasonable with the kids a more angry part wants to yell. We can handle inner conflict to some degree, but when there is just no progress in the direction we have decided to go in and despite our best efforts we keep reverting back then it’s time to take a more focused – and often assisted – look at what is going on to resolve the push-pull.
I can help make it easier. It’s so different accomplishing a goal when all of ‘us’ is going in the same direction, working together and in agreement on the outcome.
Give me a shout if you’d like to talk about any inner conflict you are having problems with.
Have a good week,
Ailish
087 2201 453
info@dublinmindtraining.com