a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
synonyms: worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, consternation, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, perturbation, fretfulness, agitation, angst, nervousness, nerves, edginess, tension, tenseness, stress, misgiving, trepidation, foreboding, suspense;
strong desire or concern to do something or for something to happen.
synonyms: eagerness, keenness, desire, impatience, longing, yearning
We can all relate to the definition of anxiety and have all felt those fretful feelings at some stage. We commonly feel anxious 1) starting something new (e.g job, house move, relationship, becoming a parent) 2) performing in a way we aren’t used to (speech making, love making) 3) when we are going outside our comfort zone (e.g confronting someone, risking vulnerability) or 4) around people, animals or situations we’re intimidated by.
It’s such a common feeling yet is one that is experienced in an uncomfortable way physically – the adrenaline surge causes our heart to race, palms to sweat, mouth to dry, mind to go blank, eyes to cry. We can feel out of control and mistrustful of our abilities to deal with the situation.
As a general rule we don’t like the sensations and contract into a ball when we feel them – although there are those who embrace the feelings – call them ‘excitement’ rather than ‘anxiety’ and step into the expansive ‘trilling’ energy – but many don’t.
The extra energy is felt as ‘too much’ and we can feel overwhelmed by the amount of nervous energy produced when we are anxious. We’re designed to use up and therefore dissipate the energy by running away or fighting. However in our modern world we’re not feeling threatened in response to a physical threat but rather in social situations where there are no enemies to fight or flee from.
Logically the solution to feeling anxious is to stop feeling threatened. And the solution to stop feeling threatened is to feel more secure. Many people who feel anxious attempt to do this through external means. They often limit who they talk to only to those they know and feel comfortable with (avoiding the external trigger of unknown people), they find jobs that are predicable and limit where they go so as to prevent any surprises or situations that would cause them to be anxious.
However, this way of maintaining security can be quite limiting and in itself stressful. It can cause problems in relationships. It can result in the anxious person underachieving and being worse off financially. Always it results in the anxious person feeling insecure in themselves.
It is much better to develop inner security and stability within our self than it is to try to make our world ‘secure’. With inner security and a stable sense of worth, resourcefulness and confidence the amount of daily anxiety that is felt greatly reduces.
There are many beneficial ways to accomplish this inner security and safety. Positive psychology, encouraging self talk, getting out of self judgement, inquiring into and releasing learned limitations, resolving fearful past experiences, building confidence and becoming self aware all help.
We cannot control the world and everyone in it. Attempting to will be futile, stressful and result in us living a limited life. We can however do something about changing our beliefs and therefore our feelings – including the feeling of anxiety.
It only takes a little willingness to participate and to give something else a chance to work for you.
If anxiety is troubling you feel free to get in touch. I’m always happy to chat about how life can improve.
You can reach me at 01 207 9615 or drop me a line to
Have a great week,